The Instant Love; a formula

The liquid dripped, it dripped in an instant

falling from the inside of my crevice

to the leg which sustains me.

It’s almost funny to think

that every experience

that is had

is only perceived to be real

by the sensory organs in the body

and so eventually it all fades.

I keep wondering often

about the illusion of feelings

and whether I will ever

fall so deeply that I won’t rise alone.

Instead leaping up to move

from point a to point d

the point of not being a singular

but of trusting enough to be a second

and yet a first.

humanity has redirected the desire

for stimulation and pleasure

and instead made themselves vaguely aware

of the death instinct,

living moments as though the immediate does not matter.

I looked at the dripping liquid,

it dried on my leg instantaneously

That’s the magic of the male orgasm,

it flows out, hits something and then is over

in many ways the same way as being with someone who

can’t be forever.

They appear, hit you, make you feel

and then leave as though

you could simply wipe off feelings.


Rambling Mid 20s

What is natural? is it perhaps the slithering of him inside? or is natural more… should natural be the easiness at which conversations occur/ or is it the way in which you don’t have to wonder about messing up/ being around too much.


I am a queen.

A queeen

of various boring proportions.

I am to be

admired but not patronized

my body held not scrutinized.

A long time ago a man told me that my body disgusted. I no longer react well to scrutiny. I would rather drown in many ways before allowing somebody to see me. I like better to be felt. what is the visual but the non-permanent anyway?

Don’t speak to much.

Don’t weight too much.

Don’t exist.

Don’t open your heart.

Don’t breathe.


Did you ever notice how behavior

is never free but is always under judgement.

What did school teach.

it taught to be okay with scrutiny.

It like the media, the boys, the adults

and how they limited us into behaviors.

humanity is but an organization of otherwise passionate behavior.

So we don’t feel. we act as though an action is to be calculated, judged by its counterpart response.

Don’t stop smiling.

Don’t cry.

Don’t crumble by the anxiety.

The voice

don’t look at anyone.

Mind. chill.