Why I left

I left not because love was lacking nor because I didn’t love the world we had created. Instead I left out of fear that the constant passionate turmoil of our relationship would eventually turn dangerous. Sometimes when I think about leaving, I want to turn around to his arms and forget that I am more than just a half. I keep listening to the song cosmic love. Our love was cosmic and beautiful but it was also full of explosions and attempts to dominate each other. It no longer felt progressive. I could have stayed and attempted to make something change but I have done that before and found myself lost. Am I still lost? In some ways I am lost but in other ways I am strong. I will forever miss the way that it felt to touch his skin. I even miss the turmoil. He changed my life and I broke his heart. I broke mine too. I keep trying not to cry; Don’t cave. The relationship was becoming unhealthy for some time. I had to take a step back because I didn’t want to be engulfed by darkness. I left to find my own light and now I have to think about how I left him behind. Growing up is not easy. Sometimes we have to listen to our brain and not our heart.

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