The flood of wonder suddenly broke apart my soul. I was no longer entrapped within my brain but floated towards the universe. The lights danced around my physical location and parts of my soul went away with them. I was still the same person but a weight had been lifted from my soul. How silly it seemed that the world appears to be so difficult and unreachable. In one room I had found the way to feel infinite. “And in that moment I swear, we were infinite” (The perks of being a wallflower). It’s so nice to stop observing and to actually feel. When your soul connects to the universe, you can’t help but to delight in the sudden harmony. And when you look at the beautiful colors beside you forming into a person, you cannot help but to fall into a state of hypnosis by sitting next to the person who loves you. You want to somehow break yourself apart so that the person on your side can fully see you. But you are limited so you use the time to fill in some gaps; you know that the end and darkness are soon coming. How does beauty turn into a nightmare?
And as you sit with the melody of your favorite song, the world explodes into a star filled version of itself. But little by little the end pokes it’s head into your fantasy. And you sit again in some state of dullness. Why? You are capable of creating magic but settle for some realistic garbage. I resolve to live a life of constant magic. What is more magical than tea, books, and music? I suppose the one replication that I cannot attain is to free myself from the gnawing of my thoughts. Without negative thoughts, I am full of happiness, clarity, and wonder. Thoughts will not control me or my relationships. I refuse to let my mind drag me down anymore.