“A double jack on the rocks” The drink is there before me; No chaser I note but do not hesitate to drink it in. At first the effect is not felt and suddenly everything seems lighter, dreamier, more beautiful. I look at the erotic dancers and compare their moving styles. On one corner dances a girl moving rapturously to the beat, and on the other dances a girl moving only slightly almost modeling. Talk is cheap but it holds the night together. We talked about sporadic topics. Each topic left my knowledge as the night proceeded. It is sunday today so of course I have not heard from you. I’m sitting right now, contemplating my sins, my biggest one. I told you I loved you. What does that even mean? Do I?
It’s very much irrelevant because I am only a play thing to you. I used to be naive, the lucid day-dreamer. And then dating made me fall into a state of consistent doubting. If love was a religion, I wouldn’t be against it but I would not worship what often proves fruitless.