“You cannot live when you are untouchable. Life is vulnerability.”

I met you about a month ago. At first it was just a fun game. Somehow something you said captured my attention. It was the fact that you knew to ask me to go to a poetry reading or a jazz club. People generally don’t ask to go to those places.

This must be written because the words are itching to leave my soul. I met you, it was such an effort getting to you. I remember choosing the outfit, being so excited at the prospect of meeting you.

You once told me that it seemed like I tried to make myself seem smarter than you. But I always felt like every word I said was there to somehow grasp the attention I knew I would eventually lose.

Its sad, this is sad, because I actually felt something for you. It doesn’t matter what your intentions were at this point. I started noticing little things. Like how you never texted me after six except I don’t know you. There are so many possibilities as to why and I am no judge to choose the correct one.

After we had sex, you grew cold. no more baby. messages would linger until you finally replied. I lost the shine of being the new toy. You used to make me feel so beautiful. You owe me nothing. I shouldn’t have expected anything and I wasn’t. I just thought you actually liked being around me, like I liked being around you. There were so many moments where I just thought that you actually cared, that you weren’t just some guy. But right now you are just some guy. And yet you were also the first guy that broke down my walls so easily, exposing me, making me want to feel something.

To be honest this only teaches me some lesson. What lesson? I don’t know yet. I don’t think I loved you A. But I think I could have. Not because of anything you had but because I truly liked the person that you were. I have said bye now because life has taught me to pick up my loses before the wager takes all my earnings.

When we were on the waterway and you looked at me and told me to tell you how I felt about you, I wanted to tell you that you release my soul, that you make me feel like the world doesn’t exist, that I suddenly feel like I did before love hurt me. But I didn’t because I knew then that you would hurt me. You probably don’t care about the content within this message, but I’ll show you anyway because words are meant to expose and liberate. You must think I’m crazy. Well bye.


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