The Mirage of Happiness

” A single metaphor can give birth to love.”

-Milan Kundera

Once upon a time my eyes read a quote, ” love is like the sea. It’s a  moving thing, but still and all, it takes the shape from the shore it meets, and its different with every shore”(Their Eyes were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston. That was the metaphor I sought. A love that felt complimentary. But the quote never quite says that two pieces ever match, only that our personalities in some way change shape to accommodate a new lover. That is the problem with love, sometimes we lose ourselves and find only an illusion of contentment.

I have for many years collected quotes, they fascinate me. The world is so vast and complex, but in one single quote, an answer to some question can be found. Why is love a metaphor? Why does it change shape? Love is a metaphor because in many ways its an illusion. It is never quite what it seems. It is only after love fades that we begin to see the abuse, the entrapment, or whatever negatives that specific love held. Love makes people change, sometimes you can only remember who you were before you loved.

Love can break apart a person. Love also uplifts. But in some way love will break an individual. Even a “happy ending” breaks a person. They change so that their love works. Aren’t people supposed to love you just the way you are? Love I suppose is sacrificial. You enter the affair with expectations only to encounter stop points.

Halt. An argument occurs, your once friendly personality is suddenly too much. Maybe not all love is negative. I am right now speaking about my most recent experience. And to an extent about the experiences that I have read about within novels. It’s not that love isn’t wonderful. But love does have a heavy cost.

Love eventually becomes a choice. Once the giddiness fades, and mistakes line the edges  of the relationship, two individuals must choose to remain together beyond the chaos.

I once looked for quotes that would reassure me that love would not simply pass. Instead I found quotes that showed the heaviness of loving an individual. In many ways what I can conclude from what I learned, is that love often tangles. The only thing we can seek is a love that we find worthy enough to detangle.

Love isn’t the same as being in love. Love is messy and raw; it hurts, it threatens, it makes the powerful weak. But without it, life becomes bland.

“Perhaps all the questions we ask of love, to measure, test, probe, and save it, have the additional effect of cutting it short. Perhaps the reason we are unable to love is that we yearn to be loved, that is, we demand something (love) from our partner instead of delivering ourselves up to him demand-free and asking for nothing but his company” (Milan Kundera).


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