Packing what Remains

The blue shirt, is that in the case? Necklaces, shiny, they are packed away. There’s the shiny dress from the ball, the box with the necklace, and the kitty mask you never wore. Packing is a physical action but it often leads to finding old memories and as we stumble we realize how we got here.

I started the year in a different plane. My hair was black, it was a different cut, my make-up choices too were different, as for my clothes, they’re somewhat the same. Some things go through a slow change. I was also in a secure relationship. Today as I pack, nothing remains of that time. 

Packing away the past. It’s an activity of leaving behind a place; next time you come back nothing will be the same. We shed our old skins, we become the people who we want to be, sometimes that person is not the best. Today I pack away the memories of a year that truly changed my perspective. I used to be naive, and I used to desire someone. I am now just secure? I’m actually exhausted. I miss my eight hours of sleep a night phase. 

I might have gotten a c in chem. I don’t even care. As we get older, we learn that grades don’t matter. What did you learn? What can you transfer to your life. If the answer is nothing, the class does not matter.

 Who Am I? And how did I get here? Tomorrow begins today, the song in my background sings. What does it mean? Here is a toast to the fake friends I so easily made. And if the wine is too weak, here is a shot to the guys who undervalued me. Thank you because you taught me to trust no one. Here is a glass of rose champagne to me, for living through so much bullshit. 

Yes I am talking about the friends that I lost. I am talking about the sadness that I often escaped by kissing boys who meant nothing. I want you to know that it meant nothing. Who is the you? Who Am I addressing? 

If they all meant nothing, then the boy who means something is the first person to feel significant. Except significant doesn’t mean a pleasant situation. The last one got what he wanted, and then walked away. I wish life supplied you with those who actually love you. but the world is a fake place and if it wasn’t for the beauty of music and writing, I would want nothing from it. 

This year is over. I am packing away the physical remains that I was here. 


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